SatSpanks 6/28/14 – The Spanker’s Guide to the Culinary Galaxy

Saturday Spankings

Hello SatSpankers!

Another week, another round of sore bottoms in front of my blog.  I was surfing the interweb, as you do, looking for inspiration for this week’s Sparkly Spanky blog. You may not know, but my other passion is baking, so I thought this week I’d look for spanky things with a culinary flair.  My search didn’t quite take me through the galaxy, but I found some very interesting food-related sites around the world. Spanking is an international pastime it seems – and I have linked one or two sites below for your viewing pleasure.

My first stop took me across the pond to England. This site would be perfect for bride-and-groom-to-be spanky exhibitionists, who are loud and proud about their passions. For any of you considering taking the plunge, I found this wonderful UK wedding cake topper at http://www.caketopper.co.uk/

 

white-dress-version-of-spank-1392226057-thumb

 

On the subject of cakes – I learnt a new term at the Urban Dictionary. It seems a cake spank is defined as follows:

Cake Spank: Anal sex. Or an ass slap but only for nice smooth round delicious butts. Cake is to butt as spank is to well, erm spank. Also one of the hypest ways to you know, do it!! SEX SEX SEX.

Ummm, thanks, Urban Dictionary. Good one!

RosyBottom – This is a US based site.  They have a range of cool kitchen implements, as well as lots of naughty spanky toys to enjoy once you’ve left the dining room table.

Rosy bottom Toys

Then what better way to end a lovely meal than a cup of your finest coffee? I found this wonderful site in New Zealand called The Naked Baker.  One of their key products is an orgazmik inducing coffee – for which they have received a special spank award.

Coffee award

And for those of you who don’t want to cook – all is not lost! Sausages and Spanking is a Canadian based company, aptly situated in a town called Fannystelle, Manitoba. According to their Facebook page, they are “… a family run restaurant located in a little community of Fannystelle. We offer home made meals at great prices from soups to desserts.” And who wouldn’t raise a bottom or two for that? But only if you’ve been really, really good.

Sausages and Spankings

Some of you may be quite familiar with these sites all ready, and if so, excuse my novice fumbling. I certainly enjoyed looking around to see what I could find for you!

And now, nothing else remains but to find these week’s Satspanks saucy snippet. This is another extract from my latest, Guilty Pleasures.

The crew shuffled closer, their eyes full of a hunger Kit recognized only too well.

“Each man among you has had something taken by this girl. She’ll receive a lash for every man aboard.”

The girl’s eyes widened in fear. “Not the cat-o-nine tails!”

“No, you can thank God in his goodness. I’ll be using a birch, nothing more.”

She brought the instrument of punishment out from behind her back. “Be thankful, thief, that I’m in a merciful mood this morning. But know this, once you’ve had your punishment, we’ll be casting you out at the nearest port where you can repent your sins. No one steals from me and mine!” And with that, she held the birch high and brought it down with a loud crack!

Lash after lash kept coming; though Kit kept in control, not wanting spite to get the better of her. Her real punishment was the girl’s humiliation. As the tears came, she lessened her stroke, not wanting to hurt her more than necessary – all that mattered was that punishment was seen to be done.

Thank you for stopping by. Please take a moment to stop by the most excellent blogs of my fellow writers, all links shown below.

Sparkly!

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#SatSpanks – Featuring an extract from Drench the Wench (P J Perryman)

Saturday Spankings

 

OMG it’s Saturday! Really? How did that happen. There I was on my ride along, dreaming up my next naughty offering while enjoying the smell of freshly cut grass, when I received a buzz from admin. Thank you! You saved me from a thousand furies. And while my engine is running outside, I hope all you rampant readers enjoy my first ever SatSpanks thingy. Thank you for letting me play and forgive me for any silly novice cock-up, unless its the good kind! Then I want pics!

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The following excerpt is from an earlier work, Drench the Wench.  DTW is a collection of horny erotica, and this particular extract comes from the story, SpellBound. Happy Father’s Day to all you bad daddies out there!

A series of raunchy tales by P J Perryman

A series of raunchy tales by P J Perryman

 

Lavender rewarded Basil with a gentle stroke under the chin; she’d trained him well. While she pondered this question she pulled a tube of lipstick from another pocket and slowly smeared it on her top and bottom lips. Basil watched, mesmerized.

“Tricky. Without magic we risk getting caught. Still, there aren’t many tourists about and I need my slave fix.” She tapped her long purple fingernails on the side of her glass. “We shall try without.”

 

About Drench the Wench:

From elves who sneak into the faire leather shop after hours to satisfy their curiosity about human sexuality, to a dryad’s mind-blowing sex with a wizard, to the most unusual werewolf encounter you will ever read, this book is one that will make you pant and giggle naughtily in delightful turns.

The stories capture all the beauty and whimsy of the Renaissance Faire atmosphere, so fans of these events will love this book. And if you’ve never donned a bodice, hefted a broadsword or worn a chastity belt for an afternoon of medieval role-play, this is the book to put you in the mood.

WARNING: The ten stories in this book are different. They feature M/F, F/F and M/M and three-way sex, with a smattering of BDSM overtones.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you visit all the wonderful erotica writers who are busy spanking away out there!

Spanks!

PJ Perryman

 

Read all the Saturday Spankings by clicking on the following links!

 

A Spank In Time – Blushing Mischief #asmsg AND #Oct #Erotica

Spank in Time Cover

It has been quite a year for me and my writer buddies. What started as a friendly dabble into the erotica pool, has led us down some pretty interesting paths this year.  To step back a little, sometime in 2012, three writing buddies and myself decided to pull together a small erotic anthology. The founding members of the writing group were A C Masterson, Jill Glass, A T Quinn, and me, P J Perryman. It was meant to be  nothing more than a little bit of fun really, kind of an aside to the other genres we each were individually writing.  Nevertheless – the result was the works of Blushing Mischief. Our first book, Thrill of the Hunt, was delayed on the publishing floor, and the book above, A Spank In Time, though written later, became our first release.

The production of A Spank in Time saw the addition of two new members to the fold; Sadie Dane and Sara Peal.  The group remained unchanged for the publication of our third release, The Spanks You Missed.

They say the proof of the acorn is in the tree. From that small beginning, four of the group have gone on to publish full novellas and novels, and in time, I suspect, every one in the group will have done the same. Its amazing what a little project can lead to. And not one of us can say where this adventure will end. Personally, I have enjoyed the journey…so far.  Between you, me, and the goal posts, I’m still traveling…

Anyway, enough with the nostalgia; the following is an extract from A Spank In Time.  The book is currently available at Blushing Books, Amazon and Barnes and Noble. We hope to see you there!

A PARISIAN DANCE
by P J Perryman

I knew him during those hot bohemian days before the war. Pleasure was our sole pastime then, for the sound of jack
boots on the Champs Elysees had yet to pollute the air. Elegant women in bonnets
and tweed strolled through the cobbled streets by day, drinking wine in the
street cafes, idly passing the hours in the midst of gossip and scandal.

By night we floated gracefully through the ballrooms of Paris, dressed
in fine silk and satin, spinning in merry circles on highly-polished marble
floors. Night after night we waltzed while dreaming of passion and falling in
love.

One night in particular, drunk with youth and more than a little
champagne, I slipped away from the ballroom and headed for the great library,
the promise of a little quiet, and a large, comfortable chair. The music faded
as I closed the great oak door. Once it was shut, I lowered my head to its great
panels and breathed in the scent of the aged wood. A tiny giggle escaped my lips
as I thought of the young men who tried to woo me, who sought me and badgered me
for my attention. Thus far, I’d succumbed to none of them.

A familiar voice startled me out of my girlish fantasies. “Ah, Gabrielle. There I was,
thinking about you. Now, here you are.”

I turned to see Enri sitting in the very chair I sought. The owner of the house was dressed formerly in a dinner
jacket, which he wore well, having a natural ease and certain je ne sais quoi.
He smoked a cigar, which he held loosely in one hand propped on the arm of the
chair, careless of where the ash fell. I lowered my eyes and stared at the dense
weave of the patterned carpet and felt the blood rush to my cheeks which burned
hotter than any fire. I never knew why he affected me so, but my mouth was so
dry that I was unable to greet him as a well-bred lady should.

Enri studied me, and I was helpless under his gaze. “I watched you in the ballroom,”
Enri said. The edge of his mouth curled slightly — was he laughing at me? “You
have a lot of admirers.”

Thank you for reading;

Sparkly

AKA P J Perryman

Come and See My Franny! For Free!!! #asmsg AND #Sept

Franny on the BeachFranny5FrannymoonFranny on a Broom

Okay, okay, shameless nudity used to promote my naughty stories! But let’s face it, there’s so much of it about these days, and I lovely drawing the female form!

If anyone hasn’t already, please ogle my Man Spell shorts scattered throughout this blog.  My character, Franny is waiting – and when last I counted, I think I had about eight Man Spell shorts to warm your cockles.  You’ll be glad you did!

 

Happy Reading and thanks for visiting,

 

Sparkly!

A Bride For Lord Esher – A SALUTE TO REVIEWERS #asmsg #erotica #romance

Well, its been a week, and the first reviews for my new book, A Bride For Lord Esher, are up. I’m delighted with the feedback.

A Bride for Lord Esher

If you’ve written a book, you’ll know how frightening that moment is, when you first release your creation into the world, waiting to see how it will be received. Picture the scene in the movie, Shakespeare in Love, when the curtain closes on the first performance of Romeo and Juliet. For a brief moment, a hush fell over the theatre as the audience fell silent. In that moment, the actors felt true horror, not knowing whether their efforts would reap rapturous applause, or be met with hisses and rotten tomatoes. But then the applause came, and every actor on the stage exhaled with tremendous relief.

Well, that’s been me. All this week. But it was worth it; the reviews are sparkly and it seems I had nothing to worry about. Thank God!

I don’t know who posts them; I’m not one of those writers that solicit reviews at gunpoint (though I suspect my publisher secretly wishes I was.) But it warms my soul to think there are people out there who take the time to give feedback, good or bad. Perhaps the writers among us do it without a moment’s thought, but for the rest of the busy world, it’s not something readers always do.  I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past, buying a book, reading it, moving on to the next, not sharing how I felt about it. But I’m glad the world is populated with people more considerate than I am.

So, to the wonderful readers, who took the time out of their hectic schedules to share their thoughts on my work; –  I SALUTE YOU. Thank you, very much!

salute

For a link to the book on Blushing Book Publications – click here

For a link to the book on Amazon – click here

To like the PJ Perryman Facebook page – click here

Best regards, and thank you, as always,

Your humble servant,

Sparkly! aka P J Perryman

~ A BRIDE FOR LORD ESHER ~ Now On Amazon ~ About the Book #asmsg

~ A BRIDE FOR LORD ESHER ~. Click to see a short promo video!

A Bride for Lord Esher

Now available on Amazon! To buy A Bride For Lord Esher, click here.

My publisher has described this as a dark, romantic, erotic novel. I guess this is true; the book was written during a very turbulent time in my life.  Inevitably the events then have impacted the type of characters I’ve portrayed here. As ever, my female main character, Chastity, is a headstrong but enterprising young woman who, when thrust into the center of some pretty trying times, keeps her focus and tries to rise above adversity. The character Lord Robert Esher is the embodiment of a class of man I’ve know in real life. Perhaps a little foolish and self-absorbed in his youth, once he realizes what he wants, he will move heaven and earth to get it.

My two villains are self-serving and dangerous, but I wrote them as multi-dimensional beings, reflecting both good and bad personality traits. In some ways, I became more attached to the character of Tom Warren than to anyone else in the book. But no spoilers. This bad man drips pure evil, but if you want to find out how, you’re gonna have to buy the book.

If you do, I hope you love it.

Best regards,

Sparkly AKA P J Perryman

A Bride For Lord Esher – Historical Romance – Shiny New Release #asmsg #erotica

A Bride for Lord Esher

A BRIDE FOR LORD ESHER

The plot

During a drinking bout with a bridal party, Lord Robert Esher makes a foolish bet to marry the inn-keepers daughter. His companion, a mischievous friend from his childhood, ensures the bargain is kept.

When Esher rises the next morning, he finds he is married to Chastity, a comely wench, her virtue sold for a few guineas by her father. Despite asking the church and King George for an annulment, Esher can’t undo what has been done before God.

But his ever jealous friends are insulted by the association with such a low-born woman. In an act of spite, one woman plants a brooch in Chastity’s chamber, hoping to ruin her reputation. When Chastity is accused of stealing, Esher puts her aside, so she flees to Hastings to start a new life. But chance is unkind, and her new place is discovered by another enemy, who would steal her virtue and disgrace her forever.

Regretting his decision to abandon her, Esher rushes to find Chastity and make amends. But his change of heart may have come too late to save her from total ruin.

A Bride for Lord Esher is a dark historical romance complete at 37,000-words.

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Click here for a link to a promo video

I hope you all enjoy this one. Its a historical romance full of color and intrigue. I love my villains as much as my heroes, and hope you will too.

As always, reviews welcome!  Click here to go directly to the publishers site and be the first to buy!

Sparkly – aka P J Perryman

Blushing Mischief – A Spank In Time #asmsg

Gabrielle

When I drew this pic my mind was in a very happy place. I really love Gabrielle’s eyes (I know, that’s exactly where you were looking, right?) Gabrielle is the main character in my contribution to the anthology, ‘A Spank In Time’ A Parisian Night, written by a group of very talented authors known collectively as Blushing Mischief.

 

 A Spank In Time - Blushing Mischief

A Spank In Time – Blushing Mischief

 

I love the picture so much, I’ve decided to use her as my primary avatar. I hope you all like the change.

Other changes in the wind. Some of my co-writers and I are putting together an entirely new blog. Its an erotic spoof blog, and will give us a little light relief from some of our more serious endeavors. Spearheaded by the kinky imagination of Jill Glass, we hope you will like what we come up with. More on that later.  For now, best wishes to all – and enjoy your Labor Day madness!

Sparkly/P J Perryman

Renaissance Faire Time with Drench The Wench by P J Perryman #asmsg

 

Naughty Renaissance Fair Mischief

Naughty Renaissance Fair Mischief

Hear Ye, hear Ye!

Well folks, we’re into the season here in the North East, and what better way to get in the mood but with a book written by an avid Renaissance Faire fan!

In Drench the Wench we have poetic harpies, love-struck werewolves, submissive pirates and kinky mundanes galore! Oh, and did I mention the shop-lifting dryad and porn-obsessed elves?

Drench was the first set of stories I pulled together for publication, and remains the closest to my heart. I think there is something to love in each and every character in the book, so if you love whimsy, naughty, and a little bit of crazy, this is the book for you!

So, trundle over to Amazon or Blushing Books, and do a fellow maiden a favor and check me out. I love Drench the Wench, and I hope you do too. And if you do, come stop by my blog and chat about it. Fare thee well, good lords and ladies. Happy reading!

 

Sparkly, aka P J Perryman

THE MAN SPELL 8 – FRANNY DREAMS OF PIRATES #asmsg #Free Story #erotica

THE MAN SPELL 8

 

Franny on the Beach

Sheridan slipped a finger inside her bikini top and teased the skin around her nipple. “Oh my sweet pirate girl, you have no idea. Come here.”

THE MAN SPELL 8

“What a glorious day!”

Franny fell down in the sand and transformed her witch’s cat into a parrot. Dressed in her pirate bikini she sat by the ocean and looked wistfully out to sea.

“Oh Sheridan, I bet it would have been wonderful, being a pirate.”

Sheridan sat down beside Franny and followed her gaze out across the ocean. “All that swashbuckling, women and rum, yes – if I wasn’t a wizard I’ve have liked to have been a pirate. What it would be to live back in the day when it was you against the King’s navy, risking your neck for loot and the pretty girl.”

“Am I a pretty girl, Sheridan?”

Sheridan slipped a finger inside her bikini top and teased the skin around her nipple. “Oh my sweet pirate girl, you have no idea. Come here.”

Franny set down the parrot which flew out over the water and danced in the sky.  Franny leaned forward as Sheridan untied the bow at the back, releasing her full breasts which bobbed forward like a pair of ripe cantaloupes. She kicked off her pirate booties and her denim shorts quickly followed, leaving her naked and exposed for the world to see on the beach.

“Yet all the loot I want is right here.” And with that Sheridan jumped to his feet and swooped Franny up into his arms. Franny squealed with delight as her strong lover carried her naked body across the sands to the ocean, and waded out into its depths.

He dropped her several feet from the shore, and Franny rose from under the water, laughing and shouting and splashing like crazy. “You total lout!” she cried. With her wand arm she smacked the surface of the water, which caused a small sheet to rise up and catch Sheridan right in the face.

“Why you!”

Franny fought against the water as she playfully ran away from her lover; but the force of the ocean slowed her down and made her escape difficult.  In just five strides pirate Sheridan had caught up with her, and spun her round so quickly she rose off the sandy bed, her breasts flying over the surface of the sea and bouncing like two life buoys.  He pulled her close to him and she kissed his cold and salty mouth, while her hands caressed the goose bumps along his muscular back.

The cold but gentle waves lapped across her shoulders.  Franny jumped up to wrap her legs around Sheridan, taking advantage of her buoyancy to straddle him, needing only to hold his shoulders for support.

“Fuck me like a pirate, Sheridan. I want to walk your plank.”

Sheridan’s manhood was primed and ready. She felt him slip inside her, and she bounced up and down while he waded to shallower waters so they could move more freely.

After a few minutes of bobbing about Sheridan walked Franny back to the sand.  He lowered her gently down on the beach, just barely out of the ocean where the waves could still envelope them.  As the calmed waters wrapped around them, Sheridan kissed her pert nipples which, angry and cold, rose high to be kissed. His warm tongue closed around them and she felt the doors to passion open in her womb as her body prepared to delight in the attentions of his.

As he entered her body, Franny reached back for the wand and whispered the words of the Man Spell. All at once, Sheridan’s shaft doubled in size and she screamed with delight as he thrust ever deeper inside her.

At the point of Climax Sheridan cried so loud the very seagulls took flight.  He pumped into her again and again, like an angry tide until at last, Franny gasped, her nails pinching into his salty back as she indulged a release of her own. For some time, Sheridan plowed into her, his passions lengthened under the magic of her spell. But then at last, his rhythm slowed to match the slower and deliberate pulse of the ocean. Exhausted and spent, he rolled back onto the sand and gazed wistfully up into the azure sky.

“I love that Man Spell,” Sheridan said. “It makes my orgasm so intense, but I hope it does as much for you.”

Franny winked. For her the Man Spell cast fireworks into her body, causing multiple orgasms that fired off like rockets, one after the other. “I have no complaints,” she said.

Naked and relaxed to the point of sleep, the two lovers clasped each other’s hands.  They both stared up to the skies and let the gentle waves circle between them, caressing their skin like a loving handmaid. Franny smiled, closed her eyes, and dreamed of pirates.

THE END – Sparkly