SatSpanks 6/28/14 – The Spanker’s Guide to the Culinary Galaxy

Saturday Spankings

Hello SatSpankers!

Another week, another round of sore bottoms in front of my blog.  I was surfing the interweb, as you do, looking for inspiration for this week’s Sparkly Spanky blog. You may not know, but my other passion is baking, so I thought this week I’d look for spanky things with a culinary flair.  My search didn’t quite take me through the galaxy, but I found some very interesting food-related sites around the world. Spanking is an international pastime it seems – and I have linked one or two sites below for your viewing pleasure.

My first stop took me across the pond to England. This site would be perfect for bride-and-groom-to-be spanky exhibitionists, who are loud and proud about their passions. For any of you considering taking the plunge, I found this wonderful UK wedding cake topper at http://www.caketopper.co.uk/

 

white-dress-version-of-spank-1392226057-thumb

 

On the subject of cakes – I learnt a new term at the Urban Dictionary. It seems a cake spank is defined as follows:

Cake Spank: Anal sex. Or an ass slap but only for nice smooth round delicious butts. Cake is to butt as spank is to well, erm spank. Also one of the hypest ways to you know, do it!! SEX SEX SEX.

Ummm, thanks, Urban Dictionary. Good one!

RosyBottom – This is a US based site.  They have a range of cool kitchen implements, as well as lots of naughty spanky toys to enjoy once you’ve left the dining room table.

Rosy bottom Toys

Then what better way to end a lovely meal than a cup of your finest coffee? I found this wonderful site in New Zealand called The Naked Baker.  One of their key products is an orgazmik inducing coffee – for which they have received a special spank award.

Coffee award

And for those of you who don’t want to cook – all is not lost! Sausages and Spanking is a Canadian based company, aptly situated in a town called Fannystelle, Manitoba. According to their Facebook page, they are “… a family run restaurant located in a little community of Fannystelle. We offer home made meals at great prices from soups to desserts.” And who wouldn’t raise a bottom or two for that? But only if you’ve been really, really good.

Sausages and Spankings

Some of you may be quite familiar with these sites all ready, and if so, excuse my novice fumbling. I certainly enjoyed looking around to see what I could find for you!

And now, nothing else remains but to find these week’s Satspanks saucy snippet. This is another extract from my latest, Guilty Pleasures.

The crew shuffled closer, their eyes full of a hunger Kit recognized only too well.

“Each man among you has had something taken by this girl. She’ll receive a lash for every man aboard.”

The girl’s eyes widened in fear. “Not the cat-o-nine tails!”

“No, you can thank God in his goodness. I’ll be using a birch, nothing more.”

She brought the instrument of punishment out from behind her back. “Be thankful, thief, that I’m in a merciful mood this morning. But know this, once you’ve had your punishment, we’ll be casting you out at the nearest port where you can repent your sins. No one steals from me and mine!” And with that, she held the birch high and brought it down with a loud crack!

Lash after lash kept coming; though Kit kept in control, not wanting spite to get the better of her. Her real punishment was the girl’s humiliation. As the tears came, she lessened her stroke, not wanting to hurt her more than necessary – all that mattered was that punishment was seen to be done.

Thank you for stopping by. Please take a moment to stop by the most excellent blogs of my fellow writers, all links shown below.

Sparkly!

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SatSpanks 6/21/14 – Dodging the Wallop!

Saturday Spankings

 

Hello SatSpankers!

You may recall last week was a near miss between me and the Admin Paddle of Shame! Admin Paddle of Shame This week, to avoid a good wallop and excessive blushing on my part, Blushing I got to my keyboard early and prepared something for you all waaaaaay ahead of the deadline. I expect nothing less than a gold star (or two!) Gold star bewbs

This weeks titillating snippet is from my latest novel, Guilty Pleasures – available on Blushing Books, Amazon, and other quality vendors. Here goes:

 

“Ah, this should do the trick,” he said. John held a sheet of sheer fabric. He turned it over in his hands, examining it.

“What’s that for?”

“You’ll see.” He sat beside her on the bed and ran his tanned finger through her hair. “Or maybe you won’t. I want to blindfold you.”

“Really? Why?”

“Don’t ask me questions, Kit. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then do as I say.”

 

Okay, I’m very naughty. I went a little over the 8 sentences, but they were itty bitty ones, so I think I’m allowed. **Hiding all the paddles just in case though!**

guiltypleasures_200x300

I confess Guilty Pleasures is an unusual and in some ways dark story. It’s not as sexually explicit as some of my earlier work, but I felt compelled to write it all the same. In this book I was exploring the VERY fine line between fantasy and reality . The story begins when Charity is given an erotica book by a friend. She enjoys the fantasy world it represents, but the fantasy runs in sharp contrast to the real world around her.  She lives in Regency England, where flogging is used as a punishment, sometimes to the death, and often for the slightest offences. Beware, there is a heart-breaking example of just that part way into the book. One reviewer quite rightly describes it as  “the absolute antithesis of a sexy punishment….” It was meant to be so and I hope it is read in that light.

Anyways, not to get too dark and before you all break out in hives, there is a solid romance in there too, so I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.  At 76,500-words, you certainly get a lot of bang for your bucks!

Thanks for stopping by!

P J

 

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#SatSpanks – Featuring an extract from Drench the Wench (P J Perryman)

Saturday Spankings

 

OMG it’s Saturday! Really? How did that happen. There I was on my ride along, dreaming up my next naughty offering while enjoying the smell of freshly cut grass, when I received a buzz from admin. Thank you! You saved me from a thousand furies. And while my engine is running outside, I hope all you rampant readers enjoy my first ever SatSpanks thingy. Thank you for letting me play and forgive me for any silly novice cock-up, unless its the good kind! Then I want pics!

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The following excerpt is from an earlier work, Drench the Wench.  DTW is a collection of horny erotica, and this particular extract comes from the story, SpellBound. Happy Father’s Day to all you bad daddies out there!

A series of raunchy tales by P J Perryman

A series of raunchy tales by P J Perryman

 

Lavender rewarded Basil with a gentle stroke under the chin; she’d trained him well. While she pondered this question she pulled a tube of lipstick from another pocket and slowly smeared it on her top and bottom lips. Basil watched, mesmerized.

“Tricky. Without magic we risk getting caught. Still, there aren’t many tourists about and I need my slave fix.” She tapped her long purple fingernails on the side of her glass. “We shall try without.”

 

About Drench the Wench:

From elves who sneak into the faire leather shop after hours to satisfy their curiosity about human sexuality, to a dryad’s mind-blowing sex with a wizard, to the most unusual werewolf encounter you will ever read, this book is one that will make you pant and giggle naughtily in delightful turns.

The stories capture all the beauty and whimsy of the Renaissance Faire atmosphere, so fans of these events will love this book. And if you’ve never donned a bodice, hefted a broadsword or worn a chastity belt for an afternoon of medieval role-play, this is the book to put you in the mood.

WARNING: The ten stories in this book are different. They feature M/F, F/F and M/M and three-way sex, with a smattering of BDSM overtones.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you visit all the wonderful erotica writers who are busy spanking away out there!

Spanks!

PJ Perryman

 

Read all the Saturday Spankings by clicking on the following links!

 

Guilty Pleasures – New Release from Blushing Books #asmsg

It’s always a guilty pleasure to announce the release of a new book. This one is no exception. I am therefore delighted to offer you my new regency love story, Guilty Pleasures, released today by Blushing Books. Set in the early 1800s, this sweet romance should warm your cockles and give you a warm fuzzy!

guiltypleasures_200x300

To sum it up here’s the cover blurb for the book.

When Lady Charity Lancing comes into possession of a book censored by Regency society as indecent, it seems little more than a trivial guilty pleasure. Yet her shameful secret is discovered by an unscrupulous would-be suitor. Under the guise of compassion, Doctor Robert Paterson threatens public exposure if she doesn’t marry him. But he will never win her love.

Young Michael Bell knows full well that Lady Charity would never marry a dirt-poor gardener like himself. Determined to better his lot, he sets off to London to seek his fortune. But England is at war with Napoleon and he is press-ganged into the Royal Navy. As if the French aren’t reason enough to be fearful, Michael gains the unwanted attention of a spiteful and cruel midshipman who takes an instant dislike to him and makes his life hell.

Michael was wrong about one thing, though. Charity had a secret passion for her ambitious young gardener, and when he mysteriously disappears she is left heartbroken. Charity fears Michael may be dead but ensures he lives on in her passionate fantasies. Unless Michael can somehow escape both the French and the English, the woman of his dreams will be forced to marry the man she despises.

I hope you love this as much as my other stories! Feel free to leave comments on how you liked it.  A review on the site you purchased from is also always appreciated! (Starving writer, helps sales, yada yada.)

You can currently buy Guilty Pleasures directly from Blushing Books and on Amazon, and it will soon be available on other quality e-book sites. Here are the current links:

Guilty Pleasures – Blushing Books

Guilty Pleasures – Amazon

Guilty Pleasures – Barnes and Noble

Follow me on twitter for news on coming releases:

Smooches, and happy reading, PJ!

 

Rosaline and The Marquis #ASMSG AND #Nov #UrbanFantasy

Rosaline and the Marquis

How do I love my new cover? Let me count the ways!

Formerly titled, ‘Kiss of the Marquis’, Rosaline and the Marquis is the story of four students, who decide on impulse to steal a magic book to conjure up historical figures from the past. Keen to expand on their sexual prowess, they resurrect the Marquis deSade.

The Marquis delights in teaching them how to take their pleasures without guilt or remorse, but little do they know, the devilish fiend has a secret agenda. Rosaline captures his particular attention, and he would brand her to make her his own… to keep her in hell… for eternity…

The only thing that can save her, is the love of her family and friends.

Rosaline and the Marquis is now available on Blushing Books and has recently been  re-released on Amazon.

I hope you enjoy the freshly bound urban fantasy Rosaline and the Marquis….

Sparkly AKA P J Perryman

A World of Terror – The Only Thing Not Scary is the Price: Free! #Free! Free!!! #ASMSG and #Oct #Horror

A World of Terror - ASMSG

For your scary pleasure, the spooky writers of ASMSG have  gathered around the cauldron once again, to bring you a book so terrifying, so hair-raising, that we shuddered as we wrote each line. Read this in a hallowed spot, in a place where you can scream with abandon. For you will scream. And you will feel the terror.

According to Chris Shields, ASMSG Guru and father of all things evil, the book will soon be available on Barnes & Noble, Apple iBooks, Sony, Kobo, and Diesel.  For now, you can download it on Smashwords. The only thing not scary is the price! It’s free!
Click these links for more shocking information!
My contribution to this feast of horror is titled; “The Land of Nobel.” Read us, if you dare.
Happy Halloween,
Sparkly
AKA P J Perryman

A Spank In Time – Blushing Mischief #asmsg AND #Oct #Erotica

Spank in Time Cover

It has been quite a year for me and my writer buddies. What started as a friendly dabble into the erotica pool, has led us down some pretty interesting paths this year.  To step back a little, sometime in 2012, three writing buddies and myself decided to pull together a small erotic anthology. The founding members of the writing group were A C Masterson, Jill Glass, A T Quinn, and me, P J Perryman. It was meant to be  nothing more than a little bit of fun really, kind of an aside to the other genres we each were individually writing.  Nevertheless – the result was the works of Blushing Mischief. Our first book, Thrill of the Hunt, was delayed on the publishing floor, and the book above, A Spank In Time, though written later, became our first release.

The production of A Spank in Time saw the addition of two new members to the fold; Sadie Dane and Sara Peal.  The group remained unchanged for the publication of our third release, The Spanks You Missed.

They say the proof of the acorn is in the tree. From that small beginning, four of the group have gone on to publish full novellas and novels, and in time, I suspect, every one in the group will have done the same. Its amazing what a little project can lead to. And not one of us can say where this adventure will end. Personally, I have enjoyed the journey…so far.  Between you, me, and the goal posts, I’m still traveling…

Anyway, enough with the nostalgia; the following is an extract from A Spank In Time.  The book is currently available at Blushing Books, Amazon and Barnes and Noble. We hope to see you there!

A PARISIAN DANCE
by P J Perryman

I knew him during those hot bohemian days before the war. Pleasure was our sole pastime then, for the sound of jack
boots on the Champs Elysees had yet to pollute the air. Elegant women in bonnets
and tweed strolled through the cobbled streets by day, drinking wine in the
street cafes, idly passing the hours in the midst of gossip and scandal.

By night we floated gracefully through the ballrooms of Paris, dressed
in fine silk and satin, spinning in merry circles on highly-polished marble
floors. Night after night we waltzed while dreaming of passion and falling in
love.

One night in particular, drunk with youth and more than a little
champagne, I slipped away from the ballroom and headed for the great library,
the promise of a little quiet, and a large, comfortable chair. The music faded
as I closed the great oak door. Once it was shut, I lowered my head to its great
panels and breathed in the scent of the aged wood. A tiny giggle escaped my lips
as I thought of the young men who tried to woo me, who sought me and badgered me
for my attention. Thus far, I’d succumbed to none of them.

A familiar voice startled me out of my girlish fantasies. “Ah, Gabrielle. There I was,
thinking about you. Now, here you are.”

I turned to see Enri sitting in the very chair I sought. The owner of the house was dressed formerly in a dinner
jacket, which he wore well, having a natural ease and certain je ne sais quoi.
He smoked a cigar, which he held loosely in one hand propped on the arm of the
chair, careless of where the ash fell. I lowered my eyes and stared at the dense
weave of the patterned carpet and felt the blood rush to my cheeks which burned
hotter than any fire. I never knew why he affected me so, but my mouth was so
dry that I was unable to greet him as a well-bred lady should.

Enri studied me, and I was helpless under his gaze. “I watched you in the ballroom,”
Enri said. The edge of his mouth curled slightly — was he laughing at me? “You
have a lot of admirers.”

Thank you for reading;

Sparkly

AKA P J Perryman

The Muses Gather in A World of Romance – the collective works of #ASMSG Writers #Romance

Like many authors out there, erotica is not the only thing I write. I write many genres, from children’s literature (under a different name of course,) to fantasy, to mystery, to romantic comedy. When I begin a new story, it usually starts with the nucleus of an idea; and after a few days, if the idea hasn’t vaporized, then I sit down and begin. Every writer goes about it differently. Me, I like to just think about what I want to say, and usually figure out the ending before I put pen to paper (or more accurately fingers to keys.) Others just start writing, and see where the journey takes them. Its all good. Whatever gets the job done.

Shameless plug for me: My story is Franny's Christmas Fairy Twinkle.

Shameless plug for me: My story is Franny’s Christmas Fairy Twinkle.

What baffles me, and maybe its a mystery to other writers as well, but where do these ideas hail from? I can wake up in the morning with an empty head (as I often do,) and within a short period of time I have created a feisty new heroine, or a fierce villain,  or even an entire world of crazy, unexpected things.The ancient Greeks personified this phenomenon in the idea of the Muses, and their inspirational assistance has been called on by Milton, Shakespeare, Chaucer, and perhaps even E L James?!?!?! Whatever, not going there.

Muses like erotica - that's why they strut about in the buff!

Muses like erotica – that’s why they strut about in the buff!

I was talking today to a lady, who shall remain anonymous, and she told me her husband always wanted to write, but could never come up with any ideas. On the other hand, I’ve met a bucket-load of people who have ideas, but who haven’t the time, patience or desire to bring these ideas to life.  So there must be some kind of magic in the people that experience both, and bring it all together in the form of a novel, don’t you think?  I know I’m hard working, motivated, not to mention sexy, and a total slave to the word. I also know some very talented people who can write a beautiful paragraph or two when the mood takes them.

But none of this, in itself, is enough to bring on the magic. There is something god-like in the creation of a sparkly new story. I’m not just thinking of the making-things-up-as you-go part; but the whole fragile mystery of the creativity behind it.  There is an indescribable beauty in the seed of inspiration, that forever leaves me in awe. When I got home from work tonight, I read a few stories in the new asmsg (authors social media support group) anthology, A World of Romance. I confess I haven’t yet read all of its offerings, but the sample I did read left me dazzled by the diversity of the human mind. So many gifted writers, so many ways of bringing  a story to life, it was truly inspirational.

Shameless plug for me number two: My story is Franny's Christmas Fairy Twinkle.

Shameless plug for me number two: My story is Franny’s Christmas Fairy Twinkle.

If you want to see what I’m talking about, click on the book and it will take you where you need to go. The book is entirely free, and if you’d like to see more of a particular author (say, me, for example) then there are links in the back to take you to that authors web page or blog. Think about it. Within its pages are the fruits of those muses; some will make you laugh, some will make you sigh, but all will make you think about something. And that is what we’re all about, in the end. Isn’t it?

Thanks for reading, friend.

Sparkly

AKA P J Perryman

Come and See My Franny! For Free!!! #asmsg AND #Sept

Franny on the BeachFranny5FrannymoonFranny on a Broom

Okay, okay, shameless nudity used to promote my naughty stories! But let’s face it, there’s so much of it about these days, and I lovely drawing the female form!

If anyone hasn’t already, please ogle my Man Spell shorts scattered throughout this blog.  My character, Franny is waiting – and when last I counted, I think I had about eight Man Spell shorts to warm your cockles.  You’ll be glad you did!

 

Happy Reading and thanks for visiting,

 

Sparkly!

A Bride For Lord Esher – A SALUTE TO REVIEWERS #asmsg #erotica #romance

Well, its been a week, and the first reviews for my new book, A Bride For Lord Esher, are up. I’m delighted with the feedback.

A Bride for Lord Esher

If you’ve written a book, you’ll know how frightening that moment is, when you first release your creation into the world, waiting to see how it will be received. Picture the scene in the movie, Shakespeare in Love, when the curtain closes on the first performance of Romeo and Juliet. For a brief moment, a hush fell over the theatre as the audience fell silent. In that moment, the actors felt true horror, not knowing whether their efforts would reap rapturous applause, or be met with hisses and rotten tomatoes. But then the applause came, and every actor on the stage exhaled with tremendous relief.

Well, that’s been me. All this week. But it was worth it; the reviews are sparkly and it seems I had nothing to worry about. Thank God!

I don’t know who posts them; I’m not one of those writers that solicit reviews at gunpoint (though I suspect my publisher secretly wishes I was.) But it warms my soul to think there are people out there who take the time to give feedback, good or bad. Perhaps the writers among us do it without a moment’s thought, but for the rest of the busy world, it’s not something readers always do.  I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past, buying a book, reading it, moving on to the next, not sharing how I felt about it. But I’m glad the world is populated with people more considerate than I am.

So, to the wonderful readers, who took the time out of their hectic schedules to share their thoughts on my work; –  I SALUTE YOU. Thank you, very much!

salute

For a link to the book on Blushing Book Publications – click here

For a link to the book on Amazon – click here

To like the PJ Perryman Facebook page – click here

Best regards, and thank you, as always,

Your humble servant,

Sparkly! aka P J Perryman